Why Do My Co-workers Think I'm Rich?
Joan asks:
“I’m working in another department and I have to listen to everyone talk about their kids. Then I listen to them talk about how little money they have.
Well, I told them I don’t have children. Now they think I’m rich.
We work the same job, same pay.
Why is it that just because I don’t have kids, they think I don’t need the money, or my car is too fancy? I want to ask them, hey, why are you always crying poverty? Thankfully, I’ve never been that poor. But what irks me is this – do you think childfree people have more money than people with children? I just wanna hide my new shoes (bought on sale) because I’m sure they’re snickering ‘because she doesn’t have kids.’”
Sadie answers:
Many people in this day and age have multiple responsibilities outside their day job — including such things as caring for elderly parents, working second jobs, and volunteer work. And of course we all still have the ordinary responsibilities of paying rent, taxes, and utilities. But the assumption that just because “taking care of children” is not on one’s list of responsibilities, that the childfree person therefore is “rich” or somehow “getting away with something,” is definitely irksome.
What your coworkers do not dare realize is that parenthood comes with some pretty sweet fiscal rewards — tax credits, tax deductions, maternity/paternity leave, discounted health insurance premiums (many employers only offer “self” and “family” options; therefore children can be added to the insurance plan at no additional cost to the parents), etc. So not only do your coworkers get to look down their noses at you for your car and your shoes, they get paid to do it! But don’t expect them to admit it, even if you point it out.
The expensive things that you as a childfree person might do with your money (vacation, take up a hobby like piloting, college courses) must come out of your pocket, and the government and your employer won’t be lining up to reimburse you for them. Even employers who offer to pay for college courses generally only pay if the course is directly related to your job, and if you remain at the company a certain amount of time after the course is completed. Parents, on the other hand, get their perks without such strings attached.
What your coworkers are really getting at is that their income is being funneled into children, instead of more “fun” things like travel and cars. They undoubtedly had children without considering the fiscal consequences reproducing would bring, and are now jealous that you can buy that car and those shoes, when they are outfitting little Jimmy with new school clothes for the third time in a year due to his continual growth spurts.
This was their choice. They made a conscious decision to dedicate a large portion of their money and time to child-raising and you did not. Perhaps a simple comment like, “We all have the choice on how to spend our money. I’m happy with how my choices have turned out, as I hope you are with yours. But thanks for your concern,” might prove useful.
One thing’s for sure — don’t hide those new shoes.
Readers: Any other comments for Joan?
Copyright Sadie. Published 1 July 2009 in Dear Sadie.
Reader comments
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Excellent points, but I’d like to point something else out that’s been my experience with this topic…
Single, childfree people actually are OFTEN NOT richer, because they are discriminated against in the workplace simply due to the fact that they don’t have kids or a spouse.
I’m 38 years old and have always been single with no kids. I’ve noticed that I’m always paid way less than everyone else just about everywhere I’ve worked. I have objectively examined just why this might be, since even the bosses themselves usually comment that I’m one of the best people they have.
The only variable between myself and them is that I’m the only one that is single with no kids. Regardlessly, I don’t even have to guess as to whether this is the reason because these my bosses and co-workers basically have told me this point blank to my face in not so many words.
I can remember watching many co-workers getting raise after raise every few months, regardless of the fact that these people only do the bare minimum of what’s required. All I would get is the little yearly pittance they give for the cost of living, and when I complain, I’d hear comments like “Well, but you’re single” and “What’s wrong, they have families to raise.”
This is basically what I’d like to add to the subject. A big issue is always made about how women are paid less, but I suspect the most discriminated against group in the workplace are single folks with no kids.
And just to add to this and rant a little… Isn’t this a real crock when it’s we single people with no kids that always have to pick up the slack at the workplace by working our holidays, nights and weekends simply because “We don’t have families we need to spend those times with.”
Not to mention the fact that we often have to cover for the supposedly “more responsible” parents at the workplace while they take off to care for their sick kids, go on maternity leave. and chauffeur their kids from place to place when they should be at work.
permalink — 5 July 2009, 00:18
Why should us tax-paying and hard-working childfree folks who don’t necessarily have boo coos of extra money to spend cater to those who decide to reproduce? We pay property taxes to send the non-property owners’ kids to school. We help out with the federal tax-credit-per-child and see none. Where’s the tax credit for helping the environment by not having a child? A little off topic, but had to vent that…
permalink — 6 July 2009, 08:23
I couldn’t agree with you more Rachel! My husband and I pay TONS of taxes but what do we get for it? And I definitely think the environment benefits if more people chose not to have kids or at least had less kids. If you look at some of the problems in the world or even just here in the US (poverty,lack of school funding, child abuse, crime etc) you can attribute a lot of it to overpopulation.
permalink — 9 July 2009, 10:39
Good comments, never thought of it like that. To the lady with the co workers, sister wear your fancy shoes to work when you like. Your co- workers would cuss you if you work old beaten up shoes. You can’t win what ever you do. So enjoy it.
permalink — 17 July 2009, 05:17
Let’s not forget that when child-free people are poor, we get no help. My husband and I were in a horrible situation a few years ago and didn’t have the money to cover our bills. We were borrowing $300 a month from my parents to make it through yet we did not qualify for any assistance such as food stamps. Unless you have a bunch of kids, you can forget any sort of help regardless of how poor you are.
permalink — 31 July 2009, 07:36