The Top Ten: Why Childfree Adults Are Controversial
Why are the childfree so controversial? You see, it’s because…
- We have given it a lot of thought, and we made a conscious decision not to bear God’s gift to the world.
- When someone meets us and asks, “Do you have kids?” and we answer, “no,” we still don’t want to talk about their kid.
- We think we are actually helping the earth by not having children.
- We can own an SUV even though we don’t have multiple sport kids.
- We expect the same compensation package at work and the same work hours, even though we don’t have kids to raise.
- We don’t buy into the “children are our future” claptrap.
- We think SpongeBob is a friend who wants to borrow money.
- Everyone thought we’d be a good parent, and we didn’t do it, against everyone else’s better judgment.
- We have been deemed good breeding stock and we didn’t give it up for flag and country.
- We continue to have sex, even though we have no intention of procreating.
Copyright . Published 1 June 2007 in The Zone.
Reader comments
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This site is useful to us because we are retired and the children are grown.
Re the above, I am glad you framed the last reason in the way you did, “We continue to have sex, even though we have no intention of procreating.” There is a huge difference between having sex and having marital relations. In sex one has pleasure and release, and in conjugal relations one has that, too, of course, but the entire act is an act of self-giving and self-donation to one’s spouse. The act is both a symbolic gesture of personal union and a real self-giving. “I give myself entirely to you, including my fertility and my future.” When fertility and the gift of one’s future ( it takes time to raise the child who is the incarnation of this mutual love and self-giving) are withheld from the act, intercourse then becomes a lie physically expressed, because missing its constituent parts. Sex is for babies. Modern technology allows us to suppress this aspect, but it makes every marriage act a kind of betrayal that will eventually corrode the whole relationship.
When marriage is only the association of two egoisms, it fails to be even a marriage. It is a life of convenience that will eventually cost everything, a life without transcendental purpose: shallow, without roots, stem or flower.I will grant you that you will have more money. Perhaps you can pay someone to remember you on your birthday, kiss you on the cheek when they come and go, take you to the doctor, to come and visit you when you are 85, laugh at your jokes, bring flowers to your grave and pray for the repose of your soul.
permalink — 7 June 2007, 10:52
Mr. Gilbert, give it a rest sir. Not every parent lives out their halcion years with their kids flittering about them showering affection and appreciation for bearing them. Step into any convelescent home and you’ll find a host of parents who haven’t had the benefit of a visit from their kids in a long time. Consider this before you come here and drop the “Your existance is shallow and therefore who’s going to care for you when you’re old.” bingo. Enjoy it when your kids start fighting over your estate before you’re even dead yet.
permalink — 8 June 2007, 08:33
Lee,
Get over yourself! So I guess you must have like 24 children if you and your wife were constantly giving yourselves to each other, without protection. Maybe you can start your own football team some day.
It’s probably also been 20 years since you’ve had a conversation with your wife. And I’m sure, given your dated viewpoints, your wife did all the work regarding the children you created together. Because, after all, it’s women’s work. But it’s nice to know you were there for the conception.
A lie is when someone pretends to be someone or something they are not. If a couple decides having children is not them, why shouldn’t they make that choice?
permalink — 11 June 2007, 09:35
Sex is for babies?
If everyone had a baby every time they had sex there would be even MILLIONS MORE people on this planet right now!!!!!
AND if people STOPPED having sex after they had their kids their sex life would dry up a LOT!
permalink — 15 June 2007, 10:23
Well said!!!
permalink — 22 June 2007, 10:44
Seems that sex has been used for purely pleasure almost since man started walking the Earth. Women have always found methods of birth control…some more effective than others. So this would indicate that perhaps this “sex is only to make children” idea might stem from religion…mostly the religious right.
I have to agree with the thought that it is not a lie if the couple agrees that this is how they want to live their lives. I think it’s more of a lie when people have children that they don’t take care of or end up regret having.
permalink — 28 June 2007, 13:15