The Plus Side of Being Childfree
What are the benefits of being childfree?
Parents are constantly extolling the virtues of having children. They tell the childfree how great it is to have children, how much personal satisfaction they receive from having children. They assume that our lives will forever be empty and meaningless for not having had a child. Is that the truth? What are the benefits, short-term and long-term, to being childfree?
Short-term or immediate benefits are the easiest to see. We, the childfree, get to sleep in late at the weekends because no little people will come and jump on the bed to rouse us and demand breakfast and cartoons. We often have more disposable income as we are usually not supporting people in our household who are not earning an income. Our time after work and on the weekends is, more often than not, our time to do with as we please. We can take off for romantic weekends with our spouses or go off by ourselves for a relaxing getaway without worrying about finding sitters or ushering kids off to grandma’s.
These benefits do not stop those with children from questioning us about the future. Who will care for us when we are older? Won’t we be lonely? Won’t we miss having grandchildren to spoil? Well, today, in most western societies, children do not look after their aging parents by having them move in with them. We choose a nice retirement home or care home and visit them at the weekends and on holidays. Sure, some children do care for their aging parents, but that is not the norm. If you, as a parent, are waiting for your children to look after you, you may be in for a surprise.
Being childfree in the future to most of those who are childfree is freedom: freedom to travel, freedom to retire early, freedom to pursue new hobbies, freedom to move about as we please. Our spontaneity will be intact and for childfree couples, this means that we are free to explore our relationship as we see fit. We won’t be tied to the house because we cannot find a sitter for a night out. We can develop our relationship to its fullest and enjoy our time together. Those in relationships can look forward to being able to spend time with their partners, to cultivate a lifelong relationship together that is one based on mutual respect and love. Having a life partner with whom you have this respect and bond will surely see you through those lonely times that those with children expect us to have.
It takes, on average, $1.6 million to raise a middle-class child to adulthood in this day and age. That would be a very decent nest egg for many people. Now, I truly do believe that money cannot buy happiness and being $1.6 million “richer” will not make the lives of the childfree more complete. It will, however, give us the freedom to have the life we want.
One other benefit of being childfree is conservation of our planet and its resources. This wonderful world we live in is overcrowded and overtaxed for natural resources. Most western countries have social systems that will not have enough money to provide for most of their inhabitants in the years to come due to the population growth. Our world is a getting more and more stressed every year, and with the population booming, it’s not going to get better. Every human on this earth, regardless of where they live, creates waste which adds to the environmental burden. Many people who claim to be environmentalists also have children who create more waste than their environmental efforts will ever clean up. Perhaps being green and being childfree are not always mutually exclusive, but in defense of the childfree position, it helps.
Parenthood, as it is now, gets more and more expensive, and burdensome with each passing year, and while it apparently can be emotionally fulfilling for some, it is an emotional roller coaster ride for most. From wars to playground bullying, being a parent is bound to be fraught with worry. Sure, there are great things in life to offer and to show to children, however, one would be remiss to completely ignore crime statistics and the ever-growing list of natural disasters that are affecting our earth with more frequency. Along with the worry of how society might harm our children, those who are childfree can rest easy knowing that they themselves will not pass on any genetic defects to their children. The benefit of not having children means that life is less stressful because we are not constantly worried about our offspring as well.
One reason that a few people I know are quite happy to be childfree is knowing that they will never have to have a difficult talk with their children about sensitive or hot topics. We know that there is no Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy. We are aware of how our bodies work and how the circle of life and reproduction goes. We won’t have to explain how it truly is perfectly natural for two men or women to be kissing each other. We won’t have to explain to a teacher why our little darling brought an inappropriate toy to school for Show and Tell. As well, we will never have to spell possibly offensive words in the heat of an argument with our spouse or friend, just in case little ears should overhear us.
As with all choices in life, there are pros and cons that come with the childfree choice. For those of us who have made the choice to be childfree, it is the choice that comes with the most benefits, the fewest detriments, and provides us the fulfilling, happy lives that we want.
Copyright . Published 1 July 2007 in Editorials.
Reader comments
Commenting is closed for this article.
Where does the $1.6 million figure come from? I have heard similar statistics, but I’m just curious where it originated.
I can think of so many other things that I can do with a million dollars than raising a child. I don’t think money buys happiness, but it gives people options to pursue things that make them happy, like education, hobbies or travel.
permalink — 2 July 2007, 07:52
I agree with your topic wholeheartedly, but the challenges of child-rearing can be fulfilling.
permalink — 3 July 2007, 11:11
Very well said and I agree whole heartedly! It is often difficult to explain to our friends (and parents!) why we remain childless after 10 years of marriage but you said it perfect.
permalink — 4 July 2007, 03:44
Amen to that! I will be getting married next month and people are already starting on the, “So when are you going to start having babies!?” Yeah, how ‘bout never? Haha. Thanks!
permalink — 5 July 2007, 09:06
Beautifully written!
permalink — 11 July 2007, 20:20
I couldn’t be more in agreement with your article.
Being childfree is a wonderful experience. Plenty of time for oneself, time to travel, to learn more on your profession, pursue greater professional challenges, practise sports, having pets, etc.
About children, is having the pleasure without the responsibility. This means you can enjoy playing, talking or hanging around relatives’ or friends’ children not needing to educate or raise them.
As a childfree person, you can contribute far more to your society than from being a parent.
I have been teacher and I lead several employees from various organizational levels. I believe you can multiply your social contribution by influencing groups of people instead of dedicating your time to only one person.
Greetings from Mexico City.
permalink — 16 July 2007, 17:38