The Phone Conversation
I’m not a huge fan of talking on the telephone. If we’re going to chat for a while, I’d prefer we do that over dinner or coffee so I can sit face to face and engage in good old-fashioned stimulating conversation. While on the phone, I find myself wanting to suggest we hang up and meet at the local Starbucks, but many of my friends are parents whose children’s ages range between two and seven, so mom can’t just leave on a whim. As a result, I’ll get calls from said friends and we’ll make a desperate attempt to keep coherent conversation going, but I have to tell you, with children in the background, this is next to impossible.
It wasn’t always like this. We used to discuss our jobs, movies, music, politics, and we learned a lot from each other and got great advice in times of need. Now conversations have changed. Just last week, I commented on my opportunities to advance at my current position and my friend Kathy, the mother of a two-year-old, offered this in response: “OK, from my experience my best advice to you is GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE KITTY LITTER.”
I didn’t get it. Was she speaking metaphorically? I responded with a baffled, “Huh?”
“Sorry. Not you. Little Matt decided to plunge right in and become a human pooper scooper. What were we talking about? Oh, right, your job. Like I was saying you’ve got to gain the confidence to STOP SPINNING THE TOILET PAPER ROLL.”
At this point in the conversation, I felt it was best to take a rain check and talk some other time. Obviously, Matt was on a rampage and Kathy sounded like she had her hands full. But no. She insisted that everything was under control. I decided to move onto a new subject. I asked her about her kitchen remodel. “It’s coming along quite nicely. The cabinets are ordered and I’m choosing some new appliances. I’ll tell you, though, I’ll be extremely happy when I’m able to TAKE YOUR FOOT OUT OF THE TOILET BOWL. JEEZ, HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IT IN THERE?”
This being our third failed attempt to update one another on our lives, we decided to end the conversation. Kathy concluded with, “Sorry about that. I’ll call you back.” I couldn’t help but think to myself, the best time to reach me will be after Matt goes off to college.
Copyright . Published 1 April 2008 in Editorials.
Reader comments
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Your recount of a conversation with a childed friend makes me both laugh out loud and recoil in pain. Far too many times I have been on the receiving end of sentences that sound like I’m the one being scolded. I’ve started avoiding calls with friends who have children because I got reprimanded enough as a child and don’t need to be reminded of those years!
Thank you for making me laugh. I might have to slip this article to a few guilty friends…
permalink — 11 April 2008, 10:00
Ah, thank you for this article – it hits the nail on the head.
I’ve given up trying to have phone conversations with adults when young kids are allowed to constantly interrupt. It’s tedious to parse which part of the conversation is directed at me. It’s tiring to wait until the conversation is redirected back toward me.
I realize not all interruptions can be avoided; it’s the pattern of constant interruption that’s problematic, and, in my opinion, rude.
I’m really missing coherent adult conversations…
permalink — 16 April 2008, 09:07
Stories like this make me wonder what the hell has changed over the past 30 years or so (since I was a kid) so that parents are completely unwilling to control their children. In my house, when someone was on the phone you didn’t interrupt them, you turned the volume down on the TV and if you couldn’t sit quietly, you left the room (ah, the days before cordless phones.)
Even worse than trying to converse with childed friends over the phone is when customers call in (I work in a call center) with their screechlings in the room. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to jerk the phone away from my ear because little Snotleigh has just screamed into the receiver, or when I can’t even get two words out in a row to help the customer because she keeps getting distracted by whatever little Bratley is doing.
permalink — 18 April 2008, 12:18
Tina,
How cool to see you published on here! Awesome! I sooo agree with you about this. I have all but given up trying to have a phone conversation with friends who have young kids. It’s pointless. Even worse, I find that even when it’s just the 2 of us hanging out together, their attention span is shot and they no longer can have sustained adult conversations. It’s very depressing.
Anyway, your post was very funny – I got a good laugh from it.
Patty
permalink — 24 April 2008, 12:37