Movie Review: Beowulf
- Theatrical release date
- November 16, 2007
- DVD release date
- February 26, 2008
- Grade
- D
Who knew a kick-ass dragonslaying story could be so annoyingly dull?
If you’ve never read the original poem, this movie might be entertaining. Otherwise, skip it.
Even though generations of English teachers have apparently turned the rip-roaring tale of Beowulf into dull classroom exercises, the actual poem is full of the exciting grist of fantasy and legend. A monster getting an arm ripped off, an evil bog full of flaming water and bones, a dragon that ravages the countryside, not to mention a supernaturally strong hero facing not only the mores of his violent warrior culture, but also the twin curses of aging and death — as far as drama and pathos go, you couldn’t ask for anything more. It doesn’t seem like it should be such a hardship to grab at least part of the poem and make a really smart and stunning CGI whirlwind of a film.
Apparently, though, it is. And this movie is the result.
The original is a study of Dark Ages warrior mentality. The feasting in the mead-hall, the boasting of deeds done and deeds yet to do, the challenges that make or break a hero’s reputation. The characters in the poem do not profess any belief in an afterlife, and so are obsessed with achieving fame, as only one’s reputation will survive one’s death. Yet in this movie, one of the first things we find out about the loudmouthed, arrogant Beowulf, is that he’s no hero and his fame is empty. The story he tells the Danes of his exploits doesn’t match the visuals the audience sees. So while his Danish listeners think he’s wonderful, the audience knows Beowulf’s reputation is based on lies.
I assume this means Robert Zemeckis, who brought us movies like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Cast Away, wanted Beowulf to be a modern anti-hero. He’s a liar and completely undeserving of his fame and crown, but presented with a chance for one more bit of derring-do, he takes it and dies defending hearth and home.
The bit of derring-do is presented as redemption, but it’s not really that. Beowulf defends everything and everyone he loves, but they wouldn’t be in trouble if he hadn’t been such a small man in the first place. Plus, choosing death fighting a dragon provides Beowulf a chance to go out in a blaze of glory without having to face up to his guilt. He can get a hero’s death without all the nastiness of confession, atonement, and redemption. What a guy.
Heck, personally, I was rooting for the dragon.
Zemeckis’ love affair with rotoscoping animation over live-action footage remains strong, even after the weirdnesses of the characters of The Polar Express. Unfortunately, the technique doesn’t sit well with one’s brain. Despite advances in technology, the animation is still creepy, unsettling, and uneven. The dragon’s gorgeous and flows across the screen, Beowulf is stiff and oddly-jointed, and the horses aren’t even up to video game standards of realism. From scene to scene, you don’t know what you’re going to get — near photo-realism, clunky cartoon, or something in between.
The addition of a subplot whose point is that all kings are easily seduced by female monsters (providing they look like Angelina Jolie), could have worked better if the character of Beowulf had been stronger. But do we care that a lying braggart is also a lying cheating braggart? Not really.
In the end, the story is unconvincing, the animation is often clumsy, and the “updating” of the original story actually makes it less interesting. So if you’re one of those who thought Beowulf was a torturous read, well, trust me, this is worse. And if you liked Beowulf, the movie is simply crap. If you’ve never been exposed to the poem before, you might actually have a good time, especially if you see it in 3D, but I won’t promise anything.
One of the students I took to the movie said, upon leaving, “I’m sure glad I didn’t pay for my ticket.” I’m glad I didn’t pay for mine, either.
Copyright . Published 1 December 2007 in What’s New.
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