MomsRising . . . The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Do you ever feel like you’re a second class citizen at the office? While your childed coworkers are toddling off to parent-teacher conferences or flitting off to ballet recitals during regular business hours, or calling in sick because Junior has a cold, you’re there at your desk toiling away, where you’re supposed to be, and where you get paid to be, many times performing the tasks assigned to those absent coworkers.
Well, guess what? There’s a group of women out there that thinks this scenario is not only fine and dandy, but that the ability to slough off their work onto others should be legislated. Who is this group, you ask? They’re called MomsRising and they’re looking to screw you over.
Oh, they don’t come right out and say that they think the childfree should have to pick up their slack, of course. It’s all very covert. As a matter of fact, they don’t mention us, the childfree workers, at all. Instead, they make everything sound all warm and fuzzy. But what they’re proposing is certainly going to affect us and, if they get what they want, we’re going to become the next group of people to suffer legal discrimination.
Other than lobbying for special rights for mothers to the exclusion of those of us who are childfree (and, seriously, isn’t that bad enough?), something else that stands out in reading the MomsRising propaganda is that the words “parents” and “fathers” are woefully lacking, which further cements my theory that women treat their children’s fathers, who are often their husbands, and, supposedly, their life partners, as nothing more than sperm donors. Ah, but that’s an issue that deserves an entire essay unto itself.
MomsRising is advocating that special rights in the workplace be granted to mothers. Their manifesto…and yes, it’s seriously called The Motherhood Manifesto…lists their demands:
Maternity (and Paternity) Leave – MomsRising wants the government to pay for workers’ parental leave when a child is born or adopted into the nuclear family. This means that taxes will go up right along with employers’ costs, because even if our skyrocketing taxes pay the new parents’ wages while they’re on leave, those employers are going to have to either train new temporary employees or pay the current employees overtime. Unless, of course, the government is supposed to compensate the employer for that, which just means taxes will have to increase even more.
Open Flexible Work – MomsRising believes that “[f]lexible work arrangements give parents the ability to work more flexibly, regardless of the person’s level in the organization.” Note the use of the term “parents,” as opposed to more innocuous terminology, such as “employees,” “workers,” or “people.” Is there any reason flexible time should be available only to people who have children? Wouldn’t flex time be nice for those people who wanted to obtain an advanced degree, for example? And, let’s face it, if MomsRising gets its way, we’re going to need all the educated people we can get because more education usually means higher wages and higher wages means more tax dollars. And we’re going to need every cent of those tax dollars for all the special perquisites MomsRising thinks parents should have.
TV and After School Programs – I don’t have a problem with parents wanting options for after school care for their kids, but why involve television? If you don’t trust your kids to go home by themselves and not watch television programming you don’t want them to watch, then you need to hire a babysitter. The government isn’t your kids’ babysitter, so they shouldn’t be put in a position to legislate that all televisions or cable boxes come with some sort of parental controls, even though that’s what has happened. In the US, manufacturers have been required to install v-chips (devices inside the television used to censor television programs by their rating) since 1999.
Health Care for All Kids – Why only health care for all kids? Why not health care for everyone? The website gives an example of how financially devastating it was for one couple when their child got seriously ill and, even though they had insurance, the uninsured portion of the medical bills were so exorbitant, they had to file for bankruptcy. Wouldn’t it be more financially devastating if a breadwinner became seriously ill? Not only would there be astronomical health care costs, but there would also be a decrease in household income. Why shouldn’t everyone have adequate health care?
Excellent Childcare – I understand that parents want better childcare options. However, these same people are only willing to pay a babysitter $2.50 an hour to watch their kids while they go out to dinner and a movie. If quality childcare is important, why aren’t parents willing to pay for it? If their kids are the most precious things in the world to them, then why aren’t they willing to pay top dollar for the best? If they want someone who has a degree in early childhood education, is certified in CPR, and has the patience of Job, they’re going to have to pay for that, plain and simple. People have to make a living, and that includes the people taking care of other people’s kids. Would you work for $2.50 an hour? But, again, this is something that MomsRising thinks we should all have to pay for by way of our taxes. They want the government to pay the childcare workers so they don’t have to.
Realistic and Fair Wages – MomsRising members complain that non-mothers are paid more than mothers and single mothers are paid even less. My question is: how the hell does the employer know whether the woman is a mother or not, let alone a single mother? Keep your yap shut about your personal life and no one is the wiser. How hard is that? Unless, of course, you’re using your kids as a trump card: “I need the afternoon off to go see little Dagwood’s school play,” or “I won’t be in today because little Blondie is sick.” And since even childfree women are still earning less than their male counterparts, why not just join the big fight and lobby for equal pay for equal work for everybody…period…not just people who have kids?
And yes, I realize that some women can’t hide the fact that they have kids because they’re pregnant while working. But I think it’s pretty simple. Employers want the most bang for their buck, and who can blame them? If the childed worker is a good worker, it will be to the employer’s benefit to keep that worker happy. If the employee, once she becomes a mother, suddenly becomes a less-than-stellar employee due to taking tons of time off and not being reliable, then the employer isn’t going to want to shell out the extra cash for that employee. Whatever happened to advocating for equal pay for equal work? Perhaps the folks at MomsRising realize that, in many cases, childfree workers actually work more than their childed co-workers, so lobbying for equal pay for equal work would just be shooting themselves in the foot?
I’m not surprised by the MomsRising movement. After all, many parents have been acting like they and their progeny are the second coming for quite some time now. This simply solidifies that theory. What really yanks my chain is that this movement was co-founded by Joan Blades, who also co-founded MoveOn.org, a decidedly Democratic movement. And isn’t it the Democrats, for the most part, who are fighting for same sex marriage because, after all, not allowing homosexual individuals to marry is discriminatory? And yet, Ms. Blades has apparently turned a blind eye to her own brand of discrimination when she lobbies for special rights for some, to the exclusion of others. The whole MomsRising Movement has made me want to send my book, 50 Ways to Love Your Country, back to Joan Blades and tell her what she can do with it.
Copyright . Published 1 January 2008 in Editorials.
Reader comments
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Even though I’m in the UK I believe the global problem all the Childfree have is parents thinking the world owes them for breeding. Why do we not just give them money, free housing, free travel, free health care, a fully paid holiday a year and just be done with it! I as a hard working, married CF women in her early 40s I’m truly fed up with parents believing I am a 2nd class citizen because I did not produce a child, well I’m sorry I was just too busy having a wonderful life.
I wish these people would get a grip, get a life and most of all get real!
permalink — 9 January 2008, 08:07
I have to agree with the issue of healthcare for all children. When children develop long-term health problems, they often continue into adulthood, with the adult having a not as enjoyable life as a consequence. This is from someone who lives in a country with state funded health care. It’s not perfect by any means, but I’ll take it and higher taxes over non state funded health care any day.
permalink — 15 January 2008, 15:21
I am happily childfree by choice, and this MomsRising business sounds obscene to me.
Seriously — this sounds like it’s coming from a bunch of women who didn’t think their lives through first and what they really wanted, and now they’re just “angry” they have “responsibilities” — so now, let everyone else pay for their short-sightedness. What did they think? They were going to have kids and do no work?
I have often been called “selfish” for not choosing to have children. I’d like to know why. If I know better about myself that I would be very angry if I got trapped into responsibility for the rest of my life, and, hence, would not do a great job at raising my child, how is that selfish?
Kids are a great deal of work. They are a full-time commitment. If women gave birth to them without realizing that, and without realizing that involves giving something up to do the job right, then that’s not the child-free woman’s problem. Nor is it society’s problem. That’s theirs, and maybe they should look at how they messed themselves up instead of demanding we clean up after them and give them all sorts of “perks” for doing the easiest thing in the world: getting pregnant.
permalink — 27 January 2008, 12:24
My husband and I have discussed the “selfishness” accusation at some length, and we haven’t figured it out, either. Our best guess is that childed thinking goes something like this.
You can’t be truly mature or adult unless you have the responsibility of raising a child. By choosing to not have children, you are showing your immaturity. And people who are immature are selfish.
Of course, we think it’s simpler than that. You aren’t like us, so you’re wrong. Because any truly logical argument simply can’t stand up.
My husband and I are happily married and childfree. All our bills are paid, and there’s enough left over for some fun. One of my family members and his wife just had a third child. They live in a squalid two-bedroom apartment on an income that could hardly support just the two of them. Other family members (my husband and I included) are constantly having to bail them out with money, food, childcare, and taxi service. And she’s planning at least one more child! Yes, each of their children were planned pregnancies.
I’m not going to argue that good childcare and adequate health care are not important – they are. But why should my life be turned inside out for people who keep breeding, no matter the cost to their children and the world around them?
permalink — 28 January 2008, 07:40