Men's Reproductive Issues
For the woman, the man is a means: the end is always the child. Frederick Nietzsche
The quote above does not apply to all women or to all men, but sums up an important issue that is frequently overlooked today. Rarely has the topic of men’s reproductive issues been discussed as frequently as women’s; still rarer is anyone prepared to discuss actions to go with the words. But is this because reproductive issues are a woman’s issue only? Do men have fewer issues in regards to their own bodies? They aren’t the ones who get pregnant, so should they just sit quietly in the background and leave the reproductive decisions to women and (mostly male) politicians?
Let’s face it — men’s issues are ignored primarily because reproductive is seen as a woman’s issue, even though this is false. People are now asking, should a man be forced to take financial responsibility and any sort of responsibility for a child he clearly indicated he didn’t want? If women can choose to become (or not become) a parent, men should have that choice as well. This is especially important to men who are uninterested in fatherhood.
Here are a few situations to think about:
- A woman takes a man on a talk show. She claims that he is the father of her child and that she wants a paternity test. The test shows that he is the father.
- A couple has frozen fertilized eggs. The couple split and the man does not want his eggs to be used by the woman. The woman wants to use the eggs.
- A man and woman have unprotected sex after the woman tells him she is on birth control or cannot get pregnant; however she is not telling the truth. She becomes pregnant and wants to keep the child.
“I think in a world of ‘women-pro-choice’ I see men’s rights in these fields significantly downplayed,” says an engaged, childfree 23-year-old man. He adds that male contraceptive options are more limited than women’s options. Though a new “male Pill” may go on the market soon, men are generally presented with abstinence, condoms, or vasectomy as their only choices.
But beyond contraception, there is also the issue of parental responsibility and obligations to a child conceived through deceit. In 2006, The National Center for Men and 25-year-old Matt Dubay filed a lawsuit in which Dubay claimed it was wrong to have to pay $500 a month of child support for a child he did not want. The woman he had dated told him she was unable to get pregnant, but after three months of dating, she became pregnant and had the child.
The National Center for Men called the case ‘Roe v. Wade for men.’ The intention of the lawsuit, according to the National Center For Men website, was to ”ask a United States district court judge to apply the principles of reproductive choice, as articulated in Roe v. Wade, to men. We will ask that men be granted equal protection of the laws which safeguard the right of women to make family planning decisions after sex. We will argue that, at a time of reproductive freedom for women, fatherhood must be more than a matter of DNA: a man must choose to be a father in the same way that a woman chooses to be a mother.”
The lawsuit met with some backlash and criticism from women’s groups and others who felt Dubay was trying to get out of his parental responsibility, and that the child’s well-being was the most important consideration. Dubay’s case was eventually dismissed; however, The Center for Men has appealed.
Questions still remain about cases such as Dubay’s. Is it really fair to punish the unwilling partner? What rights should men have so that they are protected? The woman who ‘oopses’ an unwilling partner not only is able to get his DNA, but his money as well. When it all comes down to the fundamentals, the question is: what is ethically right? What is fair? What is just?
Dismissing men’s issues as unimportant means adopting the same paternalistic attitude feminists have long despised in others. The problem is thorny, but merely pushing it aside without serious thought and discussion serves no one.
Copyright . Published 1 September 2007 in Features.
Reader comments
Commenting is closed for this article.
Good article. Men must be given equal rights on deciding about parenthood.
The article gives a very good sight on men’s responsibility even before an unwanted child. Women are considered the most important part of any decision; but men’s opinion is not only dismissed when responsibility issues come up. Society does not considers that men play 50% of procreating.
My experience has been that friends and family ask my wife when she would have children or how many. They never pose the question as “you” refering to both of us as a couple. “You” refers only to the woman.
I remember a woman friend who said to my wife after listening that we do not have children mainly because of my decision to remain childfree.
“You will have children. Woman is who decides”
How dumb and how ignorant!!
permalink — 3 September 2007, 20:38
As a comic once said, “Couples like to tell me, ‘We’re pregnant.’… Yeah,and my balls itch.”
The National Center for Men needs to be lobbying for a male Pill instead of finding ways to avoid supporting children. If you don’t want to be a parent, take responsibility for YOUR OWN birth control, and work toward the development of more and better options for men. That is when your choice to be a parent should come into play.
Yes, due to biology, women have one last option that they can (for now) choose to exercise post-conception. That’s just a fact of biology; if your body were the one supporting the growth of a fetus, then you would have the later option.
Fact is, once a child is here, it deserves to be supported (at least financially, if not emotionally) by BOTH its parents. It’s about the needs of the kid at that point, and well past the time for wishing you hadn’t left the BC entirely up to your partner.
permalink — 4 September 2007, 17:14
I agree that men deserve some sort of protection. There is a huge difference between a man willingly having a child with his partner and then walking out on them, and a man being “oopsed” into fatherhood. There needs to be a window of time (such as while the woman can still terminate the pregnancy) where a man can legally be absolved of responsibility.
It does “take two to tango” but when one partner is a victim of deceit, male or female, they shouldn’t be saddled with an unwanted burden.
permalink — 5 September 2007, 16:53
You may want to check out what is going on in terms of male contraceptive research. There’s the <a href=“http://www.newmalecontraception.org/”>Male Contraception Information Project</a> and <a href=“http://www.malecontraceptives.org/”>MaleContraceptives.org</a>.
A person is only “oopsed” into a child if they fail to use contraception. If you don’t know your partner well, you are partially to blame if the “I had a vasectomy” is a lie; or if “I had my tubes tied” is a lie. It should be both partner’s responsibility to protect themselves and each other. It has been predominantly one sided for way too long.
permalink — 8 September 2007, 08:18
I think that is absurb that women have supreme power when it comes to the decision to abort the unborn child. That’s right I unborn child. I know that the human body consist of 46 chromosomes in all cells except for the reproduction system and it is 23 from the male and 23 from female that makes a human being
Although some will argue the fact that it is human until the fetus reaches a certain age or when it resembles a person. and for religious the bible says that life begins at conception. Who can argue that! Many if one would look that way, at conception and as the process continue what is the end result? Can someone answer that? Abortion has been around since 500 BC. and maybe earlier. Here in the 20th and the 21st century with Roe v. Wade giving women supreme power over there bodies granted it is theirs and should be allowed to do what they want with it. On the subject of becoming pregnant it takes two therefore the man should have some choice in the matter to abort or not at least be able to give up his paternal right which will eliminate his responsibility for the next 18 years if he didn’t want the child any way. As it stands right now if the woman decides to have the baby it doesn’t matter what the man wants. Socially and morally he has a finical obligation to fulfill voluntary child a court ordered child support. Roe v. Wade gave women the right to choose, and I think the U.S. constitution states some where that we are all equal and should be treated equally but in the case of a man right to choose he has no choice in the matter why is that if we are all to be treated equally. I am doing a research paper on the topic on men’s rights in abortion can anyone help me with information email me back thank you.
permalink — 14 September 2007, 08:47
my email is willielhale@yahoo.com
permalink — 14 September 2007, 08:48