A Feminist Choice
Our society holds many patriarchal notions on how the lives of everyday people should unfold. Childfree people often reject these ideas on the proper way for men and women to conduct their lives. Unfortunately, childfreedom isn’t seen as the feminist choice it so often is. Not all childfree individuals are feminists, but being childfree is one of the most feminist things a woman (or a man) can do in her life. Here are the reasons why.
Education and Career
A good education and access to jobs that pay living wages are important for a comfortable life and retirement. Children can make it more difficult to achieve these goals. Time and a peaceful environment to devote oneself to study are very important for those focusing on their education. For those in the workplace, it is highly advantageous to be known to your boss as the one who is willing to put in that extra half an hour, or travel to that far-off location, or take on that challenging project.
Remaining childfree opens up doors to a wider range of careers. Being childfree means that you can dedicate yourself to studying subjects that are time-intensive or dangerous — medicine, law, war reporter, etc without worrying about how it will fit in with your duties as a mother. You are free to travel and you can take up jobs that involve risks to fertility because it is not applicable to you anyway. You don’t have to stay in a low-paying or tedious job just because the hours are convenient for your childcare arrangements and you don’t have to put up with workplace harassment just because you need the salary for your children’s upkeep. You can be as ambitious as you like without worrying about not spending enough time with your kids.
You have greater ease to pursue work in fields that are traditionally low in female representation, such as trades, politics, law enforcement, science and engineering, etc because you aren’t burdened with children. It isn’t that parents don’t have access to these careers. But one can’t argue that parenthood often impedes opportunity in these fields.
You will have time — time to campaign against workplace harassment, sexual discrimination, human trafficking, domestic violence; time to campaign for abortion rights, access to jobs, education, inclusion, etc. All the things that are important to feminists, you’ll have time to give your attention to. Not being a parent will mean that your children’s safety and well-being is one less thing to worry about if you are ever imprisoned, or face threats and intimidation.
Relationships and Financial Stability
Let’s take a moment to think about what kind of dangerous gamble a woman takes when she decides to stay at home or work part-time in order to take care of her child while her partner continues to work. It puts her in an incredibly precarious situation, as she has to depend on her partner for the bulk of the household income. Divorce or widowhood would be disastrous for her and her children. She is also extremely vulnerable, as she wouldn’t be able to leave an abusive or unhappy marriage without great difficulty. Yet this is a lifestyle choice that society aggressively encourages women to make!
Since childcare is still overwhelmingly seen as woman’s work, not having children will automatically ensure that your marriage/domestic partnership is more egalitarian. You don’t have to sacrifice your career to be a stay-at-home mother, so you won’t have to be financially dependent on your partner. You don’t have to stay in an abusive or unhappy relationship ‘for the sake of the kids’.
You can maintain non-traditional relationships – same-sex, polyamoury, open marriage, etc – without worrying about the effects on your children or hateful individuals using your lifestyle to declare you an unfit parent. Not having to spend your time and energy on children means you can concentrate on perfecting your relationships with your adult partners.
Inspiring Others and Personal Growth
Your commitment to your career will be an inspiration to other women workers, especially in occupations that are non-traditional for women. Your egalitarian relationships will set an example to younger women and men as to what to look for in love and romance. Your childfree status will be a visible sign to other women that it is okay to not have children. Instead of having your own identity defined in terms of whose mother you are, you will be able to forge it yourself. You’ll have the chance to establish yourself by your own achievements.
In short, being childfree means that you can establish your identity as an independent woman, have a fulfilling job, have enjoyable relationships; you can work to change society for the better, and inspire the next generation of feminists.
Copyright S. Mukherjee. Published 7 May 2010 in Editorials.
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